Sara Ashley

I just had one of the most intense dreams I’ve had in a long time. It involved my pap who I haven’t seen in about a year now. The reason I haven’t seen him is not because he is dead, it’s because of some familial conflicts. 

The dream I had last night was about a large family gathering in which everyone from both sides of my family were present. I then saw my pap leaving the party looking very sad and frustrated. I immediately ran to him, gave him a big hug, and asked how he was doing. I felt tears running down his cheek as he was moving his jaw. His response was a jumble of phonemes. He finally got a short message out to me saying,” I’m sick. Need help.” It was horrible. He clearly had a form of aphasia (something I’ve been starting to learn about in some of my classes), and I felt awful because I had not seen him in a year and now he has trouble communicating. 

I know this dream was simply “just a dream” as my parent’s used to tell me when I had nightmares as a child, but the sheer sadness I felt when I woke from it has moved me to try to overcome family conflicts and to check in with my pap more often. 

**A creepy component was that when I looked out the window this morning after the horrific dream, the sky looked exactly the same as it did when I was speaking with my pap in the dream. 

Sorry if this is too deep. I just needed to get this out somewhere.