I want to be in London watching the Olympics. Someday I will go to an Olympic Games. Someday.
I am having one of those days where everything and everyone is getting under my skin.
That being said, the one person who I was excited to talk to and even waited all day to call (with much difficulty), STILL after 6 years does not know how to act when I am having one of these days. Not even moving away from me could make him behave more sensitively. It’s not often that I am the uber bitch that I am right now, but sometimes I just need to vent. Whether it’s because things have just gotten too intense in school, Honey is being a crazy dog that I do not possess the energy to tame, or I am about to get cursed; he still does not get it.
We’re chatting away. His tone is less than interested. I tell him about my day. I ask about his day at the “plant” that he was going to tour all day for work. He says, “We didn’t go to a plant. We went to a distributor.” I said, “Oh ok, you said plant yesterday. That’s why I thought that, but it doesn’t…” before I can finish he says, “I never said plant.”
OUT OF ALL THE F*KING THINGS HE COULD HAVE SAID OR DONE. HE PROCEEDS TO ARGUE WITH ME ABOUT A DETAIL THAT SO MINIMALLY ALTERS THE CONVERSATION POINT WE ARE ON IT IS ALMOST COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT.
Now, on a typical day, this would not phase me, because let’s face it: he’s the most argumentative person I have ever met. Today, however, I am ready to burst into flames, run into his room way out in BFE and set him on fire by spitting words at him ignited with all the rage I am feeling. I said, “WHY ARE WE ARGUING ABOUT THIS?” “WHAT DOES THIS MATTER?” “WHY DID YOU SAY THAT?” “WHY ARE YOU JUSTIFYING YOURSELF, WHAT DOES IT F*KING MATTER?”
He said, “I am arguing because I never said I was going to the plant.”
I quickly said, “I cannot deal with this right now. I am hanging up. Good bye.”
Here’s the worst part of this little manuscript of what is probably really annoying and no one is actually reading. He still has not called me back. That was 20 minutes ago. This is where he is going wrong. Yeah, I am pissed that he argued even after I already told him in the beginning of the conversation that I am in one of those moods where I just want to cry. What’s worse, though, is that he still does not get the concept of calling me back. Just once, I want him to break down and call me back. It honestly feels like he really does not care. He doesn’t care that I had a bad day, that I will probably cry myself to sleep tonight, or that it is tearing me up that he won’t even be the one that breaks and call me back. This is exactly why when he started talking about marriage again recently, I said we both need to grow up. I admit I need to mature more as well. We are only 21 and 22 years old for crying out loud. Most of all though, and I am not just saying this because I don’t want to make myself look bad, but he needs to grow the f*ck up. Moving away was a big step. Getting a job was an even bigger step. Yet he still lives with a family member. He doesn’t have many bills to pay. He doesn’t have a dog to take care of. He is still able to be completely wrapped up in himself. I am wondering how much longer it is going to take for him to wrap some of himself around me.
Sorry for the novel. I don’t have many followers so no one will read this anyway. Felt good to get it off my chest. Bye <3
…on the block were out in full force today. They can all get bent. The end.
It really bothers me how Football is the end-all be-all to the Penn State community, and how up in arms about Joe Paterno and the football program the students have been ever since the scandal was uncovered. Maybe the PSU football “cult” should be angry with the high-ups in the football program and Penn State Administration rather than the NCAA. The punishment could have been much more severe. Those football players are still entitled to the most important thing about attending the university: an education. The fact that the football program’s administrators and coaches could cover up Sandusky’s actions and think that knowledge of them would never come out is pathetic, selfish, and twisted. I do not feel sorry for the Penn State football program; I do not feel sorry for Joe Paterno; I feel sorry for the young men who were molested and their families who are still being put second when it comes to the reputation and success of Penn State football.
That’s all I am saying about this because it is just plain annoying. Unfortunately, everyone from my hometown is so far up the Nittany Lion’s butt that they all disagree with my opinions. Therefore, to avoid any conflict, this is my only statement on the matter.
Honey is staying with me again for the week because my family went on vacation. I am happy to report that she sat in the front seat with me like a little angel baby on the ride out and didn’t even try to jump across me once! When we got here, she was pretty terrible on the leash, leaving me to wonder if Haley is actually walking her like I asked her to do while she stays at home. She has been investigating the apartment since we got back around 5:30. Now she is giving me the “mom take me outside” look, but I know she doesn’t really have to go, she is just bored and used to going out whenever she pleases at my house. Overall, I am sooo happy she is back here with me for the week, even if I do have a million things to accomplish and will be here at the apartment very little. I’m hoping she will be okay by herself for hours at a time.
Anyhow, I’m going to see if she will take a nap with me. Which is usually very difficult for her to do when she is in this apartment for some reason. Just an update. Mostly for Clare :)